Home
There you see her, sitting in the blue lagoon. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
The Biteage Kid

[ Web-sitey-site. | My Website ]
[ Aboot meh. | Aboot meh LJ. ]
[ Old junk. | More old junk. ]

I love... lamp. [Sep. 27th, 2006|08:37 pm]
[I feel real... | dirty]

So. What to talk aboot. I've really dissapointed myself in the blog department as of late. I used to crank out a new one every other day, and now I've got nothing.

Anchorman is completely the best movie I've ever seen in my entire life. All I've ever heard was, "WHAT, you've NEVER watched it?! You need to! Right now!" And then no one ever loaned it to me. So I was browsing through Wal-Mart (spending my paycheck on various other unnecessary things like pocky and gel pens and lipgloss and air freshener), and I saw it was just $10 so I bought it.

MONEY WELL SPENT. I don't think I've ever laughed that hard in my entire life. "It's an optical illusion. I was just about to take them... back... to the... pants... store."

Evan left a Dr. Pepper on the rolly-out thing that the mouse sits on, and I didn't see it and tried to slide the rolly-out thing back in. The Dr. Pepper hit the wood over the rolly-out thing and spilled all over the carpet, so mom and I had to clean it up. >=|

I'm out of cigarettes. Blaaaaaah.

After a long conversation and relationships and the like with a good friend (=D), I have realized...

...that I have no fucking CLUE as to what I want, or if I even want a relationship to begin with.

I think that's ok though. Whatever it was I said to said good friend made a lot more sense, and it would take a long time to type and I'm feeling pretty lazy.

Mizz Perry is the worst excuse for a teacher that ever was. I think she has a book full of shitty assignment suggestions and she closes her eyes and picks one for us to do each day. We're currently rewriting the end of a play we read. The play had a lot to do with Greek Mythology. Rewriting the damn thing does NOT.

I asked her if we could watch Hercules, since it was mythology packed and all. I got a nice big hell no, because she apparently doesn't like Disney movies.

Dammit.

Anyway, I had a pretty snazzy day and I'm calling this quits before I piss myself off.

Mucho love-o.
LinkRide the Vespa

(no subject) [Sep. 22nd, 2006|11:02 pm]
[I feel real... | satisfied]

It's true that I'm giving Mother Nature the biggest middle finger you've ever seen...

But what a day it was. =]
LinkRide the Vespa

(no subject) [Sep. 17th, 2006|09:25 pm]
[Sounds like |"Roulette" - System of a Down]

I am ashamed.

My aunt's son, my grandmother's grandson, my mother's nephew, my cousin Parker passed away when I was 14, and Parker would have been twenty eight years old on Friday had he survived thus far.

What did I write on the calendar square for September 15th? I didn't write anything. I drew a heart in the corner. A small, insignifigant, plain heart, something that barely catches your eye at first glance.

I didn't boldly state that we should be celebrating another year that he should've had. I just doodled a heart, something that could've stood for anything else. It feels like I'm trying to forget he ever existed at all.

It makes me sick to talk about him in the past tense. It makes me sick to think of something as beautiful as him in the ground, it makes me sick at the end of April, it makes me sick that my Mom wasn't the only one in the family to lose a child. It makes me sick that he was never married, and it makes me sick when I think about how we always thought we were too cool to say we loved one another. The fact that I didn't write his birthday down so that I wouldn't have to see it everyday this month makes me want to crawl into bed and sleep myself into a coma.

As soon as I print this, I'm going to get out of this chair, and I'm finding the boldest marker I own and declaring September the 15th as his.
LinkRide the Vespa

(no subject) [Sep. 11th, 2006|10:08 pm]
[I feel real... | sleepy]
[Sounds like |"Californication" - RHCP]

Happy Monday! I'm drawing a blank on things to say, so let's just get right down to bullets.

- If you haven't watched The Mantis Parable, you desperately need to. It's a short animation (only 7 or 8 minutes long), and it's wonderful.

- Well well well. I'm doing a Norton Antivirus Scan as we speak, and almost EVERY SINGLE THING in Evan's temporary internet files are things like, "penthouse_girl_on_girl" and "every_mans_fantasy" and all that gargabe. No fucking wonder I'm getting booted every five seconds, someone clogged my computer full of porn.

- The bit I wrote about my faddah was met with enthusiastic approval by most of my Kreative Righting comrades. Then Senor Oliver decided to be all creepy and pull me aside in the hallway to tell me how much he liked it, and how good it was that it fired up a discussion. Uuuugh.

- The 4th Inuyasha movie isn't really that bad. It seems a little shallow and dumb after reading complex and amazingly well-written fanfiction upon fanfiction, but it was pretty good.

- The Nathanator and I hung out today. It was fun, just like it always is. He made me play Super Smash Brothers with him once. I sucked... I sucked like a flaming homosexual. =C

- I can honestly say there's no one I'm really, REALLY interested in at the moment. There are people I think are good looking, and there are people I kind of like but not really but kind of, but there's nobody I'm particularly crazy about. It doesn't make any sense. I'm tired of being single but there's not really anyone I would date.

- GRADES!
Astronomy: C!
Kreative Righting: A!
Document Layout: A!
Greek Mythology: A!

- For Music Tuesday, I think I'm bringing in Here In My Room by Incubus.

- Why are like half these bullets Kreative Righting related?! And they aren't even real bullets, they're just hypens!

- I may not be interested in anyone, but there is a boy whose lips I want.

- So, Sean thinks I'm gay because I don't wear sprayed-on pants. I'm sorry, but that's just a little bit stupid.

- AND MY LOVE WASN'T AT SCHOOL TODAY!!!
LinkRide the Vespa

(no subject) [Sep. 6th, 2006|10:10 pm]
Bleeding.

Injustice has always reddened my vision to a shade so dark it has no name. Injustice is the thing that makes my blood boil until it's nearing the point of evaporation, and injustice is what seeps from my father's skin. Life isn't fair, that's what I've always been taught. What kind of knowledge do I have, anyway? I know this much: might makes anything but right, and brains have the upper hand on brawn. Therefore, it takes next to no contemplation to realize his errors.

When he reenters our home after a less than pleasant day, it's obvious to all company present. I can see it in the heaviness of his footsteps, in the scowl on his face, in the way he slings his keys onto the countertop. The whole process makes me breath catch in my throat, and I know he's brought his day home with him.

I AM A MAN, he bellows. ALL OTHER THINGS ARE SUBORDINATE.

The tears in my hard eyes become amusing and fuel his egocentric fire. I know every word dripping off his lips is a lie, a misgiving that he's convinced himself is true, but I am allowed no counterattacks. The only sounds my voice can make are humble agreements to his accuracy in the accusations he glues over my head. He'll smash me and shatter me on the pavement if I do otherwise.

His nametag reads, "I am the biggest male chauvinist you will ever come across," and he wears it with pride.

I have no clue what gave him the idea that terrorizing his children was a excellent and great idea, and I doubt he'll ever tell me. I am young and inferior and female, and I have no right to anything.

And my mother. The sweet, golden saint. Even she won't come to my rescue. She will come to me after the screaming, the swearing, the rage, the endless list of my shortcomings. She will hold me tight and tell me she loves me, and I know it's true. The supreme insult comes when he insists that I do not care about her. I know with every fiber in me that I treasure her ten thousand times more than I do him. Call it cruel, but it seems that daddy dearest gives me those traits.

He tells me I'll understand one day when I have kids of my own and a "real job," but I'm not so sure about that. My child will never have to hide from me when I've had a stressful day at the office, and they'll never have to conceal their inadequate report cards. My overbearance won't tell me to cut my child's sentences short. I will listen to them. I won't have to show my child love by buying them nice things. They will know, and they'll never doubt it for a second.
LinkRide the Vespa

I was not the treasure. [Sep. 4th, 2006|12:41 am]
[Sounds like |"Truth Doesn't Make a Noise"]

Something is bothering me that hasn't bothered me in a long time.

I feel like a conquest. I was obtained for a moment, for a fraction of a day, and that's all you were concerned with. I doubt you even remember it happened. I'm just another name on your list.

I didn't want you, but I desperately wanted you to want me. You don't care, and you never, ever did.

I DESPISE DOUBLE STANDARDS.

Best friends forever. Ha. I hope things are better when high school comes to a close. That's all the hope I have left.

I joked about it, I acted like it was so humourous. "I'm just picking up my rain check! Finally, a breath of fresh air!" It's not funny anymore, though. It's starting to tear me to bits.

I'm going to be sick.
LinkRide the Vespa

I'm giddy, with time to kill [Sep. 2nd, 2006|04:52 pm]
[I feel real... | chipper]
[Sounds like |"Jimmy" - Tool]

Today was unexpectedly awesome. I went to my looove's house last night, and Dad wanted to take me shopping today.

Yes. I said it. Dad wanted to take me shopping. And let me tell you, shopping I went.

[x] Cuatro shirts from Pac Sun. I'd never bought a Pac Sun shirt until today.

[x] Tres pairs of pants from Old Navy. I really needed some for work.

[x] Dos pretty shirts from JcPenny's.

[x] NEW SHOES!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

They're called Dragons. How cool is that?

Grace-Face's birfday party is Monday, and I'm going to Middlesburrah tonight (hopefully to Kim's house). I can't waaait. =)

Pictures will probably be coming soon.

<3
LinkRide the Vespa

MONEY FOR THE FOOD DRIVE. [Aug. 31st, 2006|10:22 pm]
[I feel real... | devious]
[Sounds like |"You're Pretty Good Looking (For a Girl)" -The White Stripes]

I wish Mr. Oliver would leave every Thursday. Laying in the hallway and having secks is much more fun than going to the writing lab.

"Hey, do you wanna touch me?"
(silence)
"...That means yes! Go get him!"

I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL SATURDAY! Grace's birthday party is Sunday, I'm going to the lovely Kim's house Saturday night after work, and there's no schoolio on Monday.

Finally, a break from all this garbage known as getting an education. =D
LinkRide the Vespa

Ramble ramble. I love Saturdays. [Aug. 26th, 2006|12:00 pm]
[I feel real... | cheerful]
[Sounds like |"Sugar Never Tasted So Good" - The White Stripes]

This always happens. As soon as I decide it's time for a blog, I forget all the witty and amusing things I was going to say.

For those of you that don't know, I cut all my hair off. Well, not all of it. Just most of it. I didn't really like it at first, I thought I looked kinda dykey... but it's aaall good now. I'll get a peekture soon. Maybe. However, it looks like shit squared if I don't straighten it, all the length they hacked away makes it curl something fierce.

My stitches are finally coming out. Yay-yuh!

I hate Astronomy. I hate it good. Mistah Freeman gave us... get this... a "take home test" and I still have no idea how to do anything on it. Fuck school. Geez.

Work is a giant pile of suck. Stop calling, all of you that call all the da-yum time. Stop calling without any idea what you want. Stop calling and getting pissed off because pizza is expensive. Stop calling to complain that you didn't get the breadsticks that you didn't order, or to tell me your order took 45 minutes to get to your door when I told you it would be around 40, and stop calling to ask me about every single special we have, only to hang up on me.

DON'T ORDER PIZZA. I DON'T WANT TO MAKE IT.

A lot of kids liked what I read for Kreative Righting. Which means you should go comment on it, even if you think it sucks. Ashley has no problem with constructive criticism.

Alex is totally going back to Ohio today. I think I'll just cry for a few hours and then take my life. However, Sascha assured me that he and I would meet somewhere down the road and procreate, so I might just make it. =)

I lost my dyke pants. Argh.

The End!
LinkRide the Vespa

Even I like it. [Aug. 24th, 2006|10:18 pm]
[I feel real... | busy]
[Sounds like |"Opium" - Marcy Playground]

Beds Are Made For Sleeping.

I drifted into the summer months with lips and limbs wide open, and I assumed that both our hearts were made of glass. However, I found that mine was iron that had changed to rust, and yours was stone that eroded to reveal pink flesh underneath. I promise you that you do not care about me half as much as you've led yourself to believe, and you only desire my affections because I'm holding them under lock and key.

Actions don't always speak louder than words and a kiss is a kiss, no matter how repulsive of a light it places me in.

I can fill these sheets with someone who possesses twice your skill. Isn't that the point?

I want both my pillows back. This place of rest is, instead, exhausting me. When the hour of guilt passes, I find myself grateful for the empty place next to me. I embrace the absence of substance under these blankets. I am thankful for the fact that my hollow body is mine again.

Beds are made for sleeping, and I'm hoping that slumber will tear the rest of the shame from my skin.
LinkRide the Vespa

Creative Writing starts again... [Aug. 20th, 2006|05:45 pm]
[I feel real... | annoyed]
[Sounds like |"Cannon" - The White Stripes]

Things that I rather dislike.

1. Chipped nail polish.
2. Wisdom teeth extractions.
3. Losing the ability to speak clearly after a wisdom teeth extraction (not that I can do that anyway). This happened to me, and it's still happening to me. I turned to my mom not too long ago and attempted to ask if we could have some more bland, soft, tasteless mashed potatoes for dinner, and it came out as (insert noise here).
4. Dropping food on myself when I'm eating.
5. Crumpled or bent bookcovers, notebook covers, papers, etc.
6. Waking up before 1 PM.
7. Slugs. I know I say this all the time, but I really couldn't have a list of things I hate without my #1 phobia on here.
8. Scratched DVDs or CDs.
9. Having to take sick days because I actually am ill. Sick days are made for sleeping late and playing video games and watching good movies and eating ice cream, not laying in bed motionless and shitting yourself.
10. Burned food. There are few things quite as sucky as retrieving cookies from the oven only to find them black and ruined.
11. This one is something that only the kids that were in Creative Writing with me last year may understand, and it's very high up on my hate list. Every Friday last year, a very annoying young woman would fulfill the class's need for complete crap with another chapter of what she called a novel, "SKY." It was terrible and lengthy and while she was babbling for 30 minutes I usually spent my time cursing under my breath and using sign language to tell my friends how much I wanted to kill myself. Mr. Oliver probably thinks I'm just plain mean for saying this, but he's entitled to his opinion and I'm entitled to mine, which is: Sky Sucked.
12. Interrupted oral pleasure.
13. The first dirt streak on a new pair of shoes.
14. Dentist or doctor appointments. The give me the heebie-jeebies and I spend the whole three days before the actual appointment, no matter how mundane, panicking and dreading it.
15. Penicillin. For God's sake, don't take penicillin if you can help it. It makes your piss smell weird. Stay away.
16. Dial-up internet connections.
17. Know-it-alls. I'm sorry if you think you know everything there is to know about everything in the fucking universe, but sharing it with me just because you can will only make me want to shove a fork in your eye.
18. My dad when he's had a bad day at work.
19. White shoes.
20. People that call Domino's without a clue in the world what they want to order.
21. Any song by Bob Seger.
22. Child molesters, obviously.
23. Boys that can't kiss, especially if you're dating them.
24. Zaxby's.
25. Getting in my car, only to realize that there's no gas in the tank and no money in my wallet.
26. My little brother.
27. All the times my little brother tried to hang out with me when my friends were over.
28. All the times I yelled at my little brother when he was younger and made him cry. Talk about feeling like the biggest pile of shit that's ever walked the planet.
29. Rain, because it makes my hair frizzy and big.
30. Kids that call themselves emo.
31. Confrontations and arguments. I'm terrible at talking shit about others to their face when it comes right down to it. Give me about an hour and I can come up with a witty comeback, but in most cases I just ramble senselessly and trip over my words when I'm trying to make a point.
32. Messy handwriting.
33. Nights when I'm home alone and I find out all my friends are working or are out with someone cooler than me.
34. Break-ups, even when I instigate them.
35. Songs that I can't figure out the words to.
36. Citizen Kane, even though it's said to be the #1 movie of all time.
37. Being called into work. I'm a pussy and a bad liar, so I find it hard to say I'm already busy if I'm not and I end up going in and being pissy all night.
38. The one kid in every class who generally gets on everyone's nerves. I hope it's not me, but tell me if it is.
40. Needles. That means I'll probably never shoot up.
41. The fact that I am a very jealous person and I always have been. I usually don't let on about it though. In fact, most people think I'm rather indifferent about things that make me jealous.
42. The color yellow.
43. Dirty shoestrings.
44. Being single, because it really gets old after a while.
45. Black coffee. Bleah.
46. Mrs. Harper.
47. Typos. I strive to use correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation when I'm using online messengers. It bothers me when I don't capitalize and punctuate and all that junk.
48. Being broke, but who really likes it, anyway?
49. Melted ice cream.
50. Homework, which means I'm glad this list is drawing to a close.
LinkRide the Vespa

Flippedy ferk. [Aug. 15th, 2006|10:54 am]
[I feel real... | sore]
[Sounds like |"Mandy Goes to Med School" - The Dresden Dolls]

I'm currently eating ice cream with no pants on in a house that I have to myself while my friends are in school.

This is the flippin' life. n_n

But not really, if one looks at the big peekture. This'll be the third day I've missed Document Creation Design and Mythology, and make-up work just isn't my thing.

Document Creation is sort of pointless all by itself... Mizz Justice doesn't know what she's doing, and I get the feeling I'm not going to be able to take Web Page Design next year at the rate that class is moving.

Greek Mythology is really interesting, but I really don't think Mizz Perry knows what she's doing either. All we do in class is read out of the book, then read some more at home and answer questions.

I would KILL for some sort of solid food. Chicken nuggets sound especially delightful. =(

Blaaaah. I'm all tired and hurty. Sleep... yes... good...
LinkRide the Vespa

"Mmmph!" = "This totally sucks!" [Aug. 12th, 2006|07:25 pm]
[I'm in the |Murr... I don't really know.]
[I feel real... | drained]

Hurray for the lack of wisdom teeth, because I think my jaws are on fire. Invisible fire, that is.

Ow ow ow ow.

Invisible fire that also makes it look like my face gained 20 pounds in two days.

OW.

I had a bunch of things to say, but I'm slightly doped up and fleeting is the best way to describe my thought process at the moment. This whole "keep a pound of gauze in your mouth at all times" thing kind of sucks, because it's messy and gross and it makes me sick. But sweet jebus, these pain meds are schweet. They're called Oxycodone, and they're basically oxycotin and hydrocodone mixed together. Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeeeeeeah. =D

The operating room was t3h_suck. I went in there and started crying and shaking and all this junk, and I really don't like nurses. This woman is like, "So what've you been doing this summer?" and then in this in this low undertone, "Doctor, I can't find a vein," while she's flicking my arm and stuff. Honestly... I know she didn't give two shits about what I'd done all summer. Grargh. The IV in was the worst part, but then I don't remember anything after that until I woke up at home.

Kim brought Sunny over! She's so big!

I've been living on chocolate vitamin shakes and saliva for two days, so I guess that explains why I feel like walking death. And if anyone has advice on how to make my face stop swelling, please be nice and share it.

I really wish I didn't have to miss school so early in the year.

And I really, REALLY would've liked to have been in Kreative Righting yesterday... it was yesterday, right? I'm all confuzzled. I wrote a poemy-type-thingie while I was in a medically induced stupor, but I lost it so I don't know how well it turned out. My guess is that it didn't turn out at all.

But eh, I have to read a bunch of junk for Greek Mythology. The class isn't so bad, it's really interesting, it's just that it's the first year it's been offered and I don't think Mizz Perry really knows what she's doing either.

But I didn't just say that.

I got a raise (of 30 cents) and my love got a job with me! YAY-YUH!

I want to spiffy-fy my layout but I look terrible and can't take a peekture. So oh well. All those comments and messages and stuff you guys left me was awesome. Huzzah!

Howl's Moving Castle is twice as trippy when you're on medication. =)

I'm bored and laying in bed isn't as fun as it sounds. I've got my cellular tellyphone on, so a text is always welcome. [/hint hint]

Love love love.
LinkRide the Vespa

-_-zzz [Aug. 8th, 2006|10:45 pm]
Homework sucks the big one.

And homework that I've already decided not to do sucks twice as much.

I know this is the place where the big back-to-school post goes, but I'm worn out and I've got quite a bit of missed sleep to catch up on.
LinkRide the Vespa

Finish line. [Aug. 6th, 2006|09:29 pm]
[I feel real... | blank]
[Sounds like |"Wrong Way" - Sublime]

And so, summer draws to a close.

I'm hoping this was the last time.

I've realized that it's in my control, so...

I think that was the final incident. The End.

=)
LinkRide the Vespa

Dragon Days are no more. [Aug. 4th, 2006|11:54 pm]
[I feel real... | uncomfortable]

My car was filled with water when the monsoon hit. Damn my car and the windows I left cracked.

Today sucked big time, and I don't know know how to start this so let's just get right down to it.

Here be my classes!

First-o semester-o
1) Astronomy (With Freeman! Huzzah!)
2) Creative Writing
3) Document Layout and Design
4) Greek Mythology (Double huzzah!)

Second-o semester-o
1) Sociology/Psychology
2) Web Page Design
3) English IV Honors
4) Government/Economics

You know what's REALLY fun? Shutting yourself in a bathroom for an hour and a half and ruining your best friend's day by whining and being immature.

Optimism apparently doesn't run in the veins of a fuck up.
LinkRide the Vespa

(no subject) [Jul. 30th, 2006|02:06 am]
[I feel real... | irritated]
[Sounds like |I can hear the third Inuyasha movie in the background...]

Let's see, I think I'll start with the ugly first. This'll sound stupid and whiny and immature, but it's bugging the hell out of me.

Work was completely terrible. If you want to get technical, work itself wasn't, the fact that Erin and I almost slit each other's throats was. It's a long-winded tale, my friends. Get some popcorn and sit back.

I worked last night until 9:30. And I worked the night before that. And I worked Tuesday. This is all fine, I don't mind. Erin worked Sunday only out of the last two weeks, and I don't mind that either. She had band camp. She couldn't work.

But tonight she was convinced that she was going to get to leave first. I went in the back to go to the bathroom and she thought I was getting my bag to leave, and she went into panic mode. "What? Are you leaving? ...oh, good. You had me scared, I thought I wasn't going to get to leave first." I basically told her to stop being stupid, I'd worked this week and this was the only day she'd worked since Sunday. She got fired up and said she was tired, she'd been at band camp all week and she wanted to leave first.

Too damn bad. Fuck, I want a pony, but I don't see that happening any time soon.

I said she didn't go to band camp today, she said, "No, but I went yesterday!" Excuse me if I'm wrong, but yesterday is not today. She got to sleep last night, hell, she called me today and woke me up. She made Sascha work tomorrow for her, too. For no real reason, other than the fact that she didn't want to work then either. And there she is STILL wanting to leave first after she got out of working Sunday.

We got into it and Cody told us we could both go home. It's stupid, it's just stupid. We aren't five years old.

I love Erin with all my heart, she's one of my best friends, but it just pissed me off beyond belief. I'm sure she'll read this and heartily disagree with everything I've just said, as most of you will. Call me bitchy or mean or dumb or spoiled or whatever, but I haven't said anything about it and I just had to spill.

SO, ONTO GOOD THINGS!

Hell hath frozen over. Because sitting next to me, fully tangible, is a new cellular tellyphone. MY CELLULAR TELLYPHONE! It's so shiny and pretty and fully functional I could cry.

Everything has a catch, though. Dad got it this morning when he took my old one to see if it could be fixed (it was fucked beyond repair, but I could've told him that), and he brought this glorious piece of technology home for himself. But I'm apparently the best daughter ever so he let me have it. =D

And mi padre, being the genius that he is, didn't make sure it was activated before he left. And it wasn't. So I can't REALLY use it until Monday, but hell, it's nice to look at. I'm gonna pet it and love it and keep it forever.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Oh, and I have a vanity plate for my car! Fwee!

Don't make me beg for comments, because I'm not above doing it... [/hint hint]
LinkRide the Vespa

Begging for hellraiser rendezvous. [Jul. 26th, 2006|01:48 am]
[Sounds like |"Breathe Me" - Sia]

though it may sound disgusting, I truly believe the length of my fingernails is directly correlated to my happiness at said time that said fingernails are long.

Long = happy. Sad = chewed up.

They are currently really, really long.

And I am about to rip the motherfuckers off.

I've realized there is a void in my life, not a huge one, but it's there. And I realized too late that I've been trying to fill it with something else, something that isn't the thing that is lacking. There are parts to it, parts of this thing that I'm missing, and I'm trying to insert one of my favorite parts without including the rest.

Sensation of skin alone cannot do it. It needs to come with all the feeling, but I don't know where to obtain that. I've settled for less and it's starting to take it's toll.

Of course it's easy to say this now, but who really knows what I'll be doing tomorrow. I've got the feeling I'll be requesting one more shindig before summer comes to a close.

I know nobody ever reads lyrics, but this song is beautiful (and short).

"Breathe Me" - Sia
Help, I have done it again.
I have been here many times before.
Hurt myself again today,
And the worst part is there's no one else to blame.

Be my friend.
Hold me, wrap me up.
Unfold me, I am small and needy.
Warm me up and breathe me.

Ouch, I have lost myself again,
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found.
Yeah, I think I might break...
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe.

Be my friend.
Hold me, wrap me up.
Unfold me, I am small and needy.
Warm me up and breathe me.

Be my friend.
Hold me, wrap me up.
Unfold me, I am small and needy.
Warm me up and breathe me.
LinkRide the Vespa

I have a headache. x_X [Jul. 25th, 2006|11:02 pm]
[I feel real... | pained]
[Sounds like |Something in FFX.]

I went to Nathan's today and tri-- hang on, my pants are vibrating. Let me answer the phone.

Anyway, I tried to burn a CD but his laptop went all screwy, and it only transferred some of the songs. What a bunch of suck.

We went to Starbucks! Huzzah!

I changed into my uniform in the same room as a gay boy. It's still kind of weird that it isn't weird to do that. =]

Work was pointless.

THE END.
LinkRide the Vespa

(no subject) [Jul. 21st, 2006|11:32 pm]
[I feel real... | sleepy]
[Sounds like |"Wheel of Fortune" - Dead Man's Chest soundrack]

I went to the fair Wednesday and had FUN.

But apart from the subject of fun, I went to the oral surgeon at seven fucking forty five this morning. It wasn't bad, all I did was talk, and now I'm not so scared about getting my wisdom teeth out. I get valum before I go, then I get that gas that makes you all stupid before I even get put to sleep, so lemme get a nice big FUCK YES! =D It's not afterwards that I'm worried about, it's just all the waiting and knowing it's about to happen that scares the piss out of me. I'm scheduled for August 10th, but I don't know when school starts... so I may ask mom to reschedule it.

But enough about that, nobody really gives two shits.

ASHLEH BOUGHT THE SOUNDTRACK FROM DEAD MAN'S CHEST (and since the currently listening option is currently fucked, that's what she's listening to)!

ASHLEH SHOULD THROW A PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT, BUT SHE ISN'T COOL AND HER FRIENDS DON'T LIKE HER.

ASHLEH HAS NOTHING ELSE TO SAY.

BUT SHE WOULD LIKE COMMENTS. n_n
LinkRide the Vespa

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day! [Jul. 21st, 2006|11:08 pm]
[I feel real... | happy]
[Sounds like |"The Kraken" - Dead Man's Chest soundtrack]

And here she is!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

The next one is my favorite. She was standing between my feet and I had to bend over and take it upside down.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I miss her something fierce. =C
Link1 rider|Ride the Vespa

I'm in looove. [Jul. 18th, 2006|11:21 pm]
[I feel real... | cheerful]
[Sounds like |"The Sweater Song" - Weezer]

What to say.

Well, I'm in Middlesboro. Playing with Sunny. Who is Sunny, you ask?

Sunny is Kim's new puppy. Kim's new, seven week old, PUG puppy. I've already fallen in love with her, she doesn't even weigh two pounds. I'll have pictures when I get back.

I need some cash (thirty bucks if you wanted to know) for a new comforter for me bed. Well, obviously for me bed... what else would it be for... meh, I'm tired. Anyway, it's got a black and white photo of a skyscape on it, and it's basically awesome.

Too bad I've already spent my check.

Kim is (doing a magnificent job at) encourging bad habits, meaning she gives me a cigarette when I fancy one. My God, menthols are great. I don't know what the hell Erin was talking about when she said they weren't. My throat feels awesome (now go on, and make a joke).

Actually, I think I'll go nick a pack outta the freezer for myself right now.

The FAIR!!! is in town. I'll be back tomorrow evening, so does anyone want to go with me? It's the only day I can go. =C

Dial-up sucks. Geez, I cannot wait until I can afford something else.

I'm jonesin' for a(nother) smoke and some gratification. Dammit. >=|

I hung out with Courtney and Kathy yesterday, meaning I got to see Grace too. She's so big!

And mean!

OH, I REMEMBER WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT. I do believe Evan might be leaving Wednesday when I get back. So... I'll have the house to myself during the day on Thursday and Friday until 5:00. However, I have an appointment for the "oral surgeon" Friday morning at 8:00 that Mom thinks I don't know about yet, so I don't know what I'll be able to do that day. I don't know if they'll just check me out or do all the actual surgery junk. If there's no surgery, I'll be free to do something I shouldn't be doing until Mom gets home.

Listen to the song on my profile. It's good.

Oh, and thanks to everyone that likes my new userpic. I happen to like it myself. =]
LinkRide the Vespa

Ten things about ten kids that shall be left unnamed. [Jul. 16th, 2006|12:51 am]
This'll probably turn out sappy, but I'll try... =]

||one||
You laugh at all my probably-not-funny jokes, for one thing. I put you in the magical category of Ashley's top three bestest friends. You're good for a laugh and good for a fuck (well, you wish) and you encourage all my bad habits. And have I mentioned that I love you?

But stop with the big-headed, bossy, I'm-right-about-everything-and-I-know-all attitude you've picked up recently. It's annoying and it makes me want to punch you in the face sometimes.

||two||
You spoiled bitch. Grow up, we're seniors for God's sake. Shit happens, and life isn't ever going to go on if you don't stop moping and feeling bad for yourself. It doesn't mean I don't love you, it just means I'm sick of hearing about the same things. Boys that were your friend in 6th grade don't still want to date you. He isn't avoiding you because he's jealous of someone you liked 4 or 5 years ago, he's avoiding you because you're creeping him out. Let it go.

||three||
You can't even begin to fathom how glad I am that we started hanging out this year. Also one of my top three bestest friendses! You are undoubtably the most chilled out, laid back, easy going friend I have, not to mention the only one I've never been pissed off at and the one I trust most. So easy to talk to, that's what you are. Love!

||four||
Stop it, just stop. it. I don't want to be misleading.

||five||
My original best friend through thick and thin, bitch. I will always, always, ALWAYS love you more than anything. Even though we want to rip each other's heads off sometimes, I'd give my life for you. Every time I lay with you (I can hear your heartbeat,) I wonder how many more days we have left to laze around like that and it rips me up. You just might be the hardest to let go of when the time comes. (Top three bestest friendses!)

I'll come find you when we're eighty and watch the first Pokemon movie in the nursing home you're stuck in. =D

||six||
I'd give anything to do it again. You make me sick half the time, but my God, words can't wrap around the thoughts you put in my head. Please, please...

||seven||
I kinda have a thing for you, and I think you just might know it. There isn't a lot I can do about feelings that aren't mutual, but oh well. You're hilarious, dammit.

||eight||
Back off, you fucking psycho. I've never liked you, and those things you go on and on about really aren't your concern. Obsessive, much? I'm going to do what I want, and I don't give two shits if you know about it. Geez.

||nine||
You're weird, so leave me alone.

||ten||
I love you to death, but you're unbearably self-centered. I can't put two words in about anything I do without you cutting across me with some completely unrelated story about you and your friends that I don't know.

I'm glad you're happy, but don't act like you're such a martyr.
LinkRide the Vespa

Things Davy Jones can do with his face (a misguided stab at humour). [Jul. 13th, 2006|11:54 pm]
[I feel real... | horny]
[Sounds like |"Somewhere a Clock is Ticking" - Snow Patrol]

Using his face, Captain Davy Jones can...

1. Hold a fork.
2. Draw a picture.
3. Drive a boat.
4. Knock a bitch out.
5. Write a letter to his auntie.
6. Paint his nails.
7. Strangle an innocent bystander.
8. Fuck someone.
9. Open doors.
10. Pick his nose (if he had one).
11. Pet a doggie.
12. Change the oil in my car.
13. Play guitar... AND ALL KINDS OF OTHER THINGS!

Here's a joke I made up. It's probably only humourous to me, but oh well.

Davy - (eating food) Who cooked this? It's fucking gross!
Me - Your face is fucking gross!
Davy - HELLS YEAH!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

And would you believe it's still an awesome movie, even after having seen it three times now?!
LinkRide the Vespa

[lick] [Jul. 11th, 2006|04:21 pm]
[I feel real... | nostalgic]

There is no one I am seeing, but there is
someone
I see.
I found myself welcoming what I swore to revolt...
I'm not positive I'll be able to remain tight-lipped,
as I believe something as

glorious

as you deserves bragging rights.
Air crackled, shimmered, sizzled like fire between fiercely met eyes,
and a smile slipped over my
teeth (tongue),
while a hand slipped down your
spine (skin).
You're an intake of nearly fresh breath, and I'll

BREATHE!

you in until my head whirls. Until my hips give in.
Almost fresh, remember...
Still a hint of a taint is present.
Not quite perfect, but perfect for me. The perfect weight atop me.
I'm almost certain I do not want you for myself,
But I'm completely confident in saying that I want my name

f a l l i n g

from

your

mouth.

Condensation clinging to my neck.
Clinging, it's lingering.
The eyes that you made so unfocused want to take you in.
LinkRide the Vespa

Fuck-shit-piss-damn-cunt-fuck-fuck-fuck. [Jul. 10th, 2006|11:15 am]
[I feel real... | worried]
[Sounds like |"Creep" - Radiohead]

I went to the dentist at nine in the fucking AM.

And they said I have to get my wisdom teeth cut out. Like, soon.

Ashley is TERRIFIED.
LinkRide the Vespa

(no subject) [Jul. 9th, 2006|04:46 pm]
[I feel real... | Awed. Dammit, just AWED.]
[Sounds like |"Stadium Arcadium" - Red Hot Chili Peppers]

"I gotta jar of dii-irt, I gotta jar of dii-irt! And guess what's inside it!"

Dead Man's Chest is the greatest movie on the face of the planet.

Geez...

I think I'll be living in the theater for the next month or so.

"You can't read!" "It's the Bible, you get credit for tryin'!"
Link1 rider|Ride the Vespa

UNDOUBTABLY THE GREATEST COMPACT DISC EVER. [Jul. 8th, 2006|12:32 am]
[I feel real... | Aaawesome.]
[Sounds like |"Swallowed" - Bush]

I finally made the slayage CD I've been discussing for about seven months now (slayage = tounge slayage = fun, fun for everyone). The tracks be...

1. Creep - Radiohead
2. Swallowed - Bush
3. Around the Fur - Deftones
4. Mouth - Bush
5. Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground - The White Stripes
6. Skin on Skin - Queens of the Stone Age
7. C'mon and Try - Mellowdrone
8. Savory - Deftones
9. Change (In The House of Flies, Acoustic) - Deftones
10. Stalker - The Pillows
11. Stadium Arcadium - Red Hot Chili Peppers
12. And Repeat - Mellowdrone
13. Silver and Cold - AFI
14. Soma - Smashing Pumpkins
15. Storm in a Teacup - Red Hot Chili Peppers
16. Mayonaise - Smashing Pumpkins
17. I Can Learn - The White Stripes
18. Lithium - Nirvana

I realized too late (a.k.a. while I was typing this and it was burning,) that I left Glycerine off the list, as well as a few others. Feel free to tell me about any that I might not have heard of. Oh well, all the more reason to have a volume II! <3 <3 <3
LinkRide the Vespa

I'm not wearing any panties... =D [Jul. 4th, 2006|10:46 pm]
[I feel real... | Oh... you KNOW...]

Now that I have your attention, you might as well read this. I tried my derndest to include some trademark dry wit, just to keep you buggers entertained. =)

ONE: My cell phone bill had $110 in overages last month, and that means I owe my parentals $110, and that, my friends, means life sucks. Sucks hardcore, sucks horse cock, sucks in the sense that I have no cash. I've talked to Mom about getting a phone of my own from Cingular. One that I buy, one that I pay for every month.

"What the flippidy-fluppidy-ferk?! Cingular?! NOBODY HAS CINGULAR! Ashley, you're basically retarded!" Au contraire, quite a few people do.

And I want something that isn't a complete piece of shit (a.k.a. my current phone from Verizon), because my current phone doesn't get service at the lake, and my current phone doesn't get service in Middlesboro. Hell, the old way I can get it to work at my own fucking house is by either laying in my bed or sitting in the closet and staying that way.

But, alas, I do not have a bank account, I do not have enough money to open a bank account, and my dad is a nazi. Just the thought of suggesting to him that I can do something as "drastic" as pay a monthly bill is laughable.

I'll most likely be stuck with a useless cellular tellyphone for a few months to come. I need money.

TWO: It's raining on the 4th of July. This sucks. -_-

THREE: I didn't have to go to work tonight, but I have to go doorhanging at TEN IN THE FUCKING AM tomorrow. What is this mysterious thing called doorhanging, you ask? Gather 'round and allow me to enlighten thee! I go to work at 10:00, get in Jim's (the guy that owns Domino's) truck type thingie with two other people that work there, he drives up to random subdivisions of Clinton, and I walk up hills and stairs in 85 degree weather for three house in pants, and thick, navy blue shirt, and a hat so that I can put menus on random individual's doors.

It's fucking stupid, and I did it last week too. I'm thinking about stabbing myself in the face, I'm sure it'll help in some way.

I'll get $21, but I'd rather sleep. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

FOUR: I hear fireworks really close to my house... aren't those banned inside city limits?

FIVE: Here's some optimism! I'll possibly be going to Oak Ridge tomorrow.

What? I just said I had no money? Surely, you're imagining things.

Oh well, I'm going anyway.

It's peanut butter jelly time!!!

SIX: This is turning out to be one of the crappiest weeks of my life. I never thought being on the rag could fuck up one's plans so thouroughly, but geez. I want to crawl in bed and fucking die. Every single thing I want to do, I can't do it for one reason or another. ASLDJHASLDAJK.

SEVEN: Have you seen the outtakes on Chasing Amy. Man... funny shit.

EIGHT: I'm infatuated with British slang. BUGGER OFF, YOU BLOODY SOD.

That was probably wrong in one way or another.

NINE: If you even made it this far, I love you (but you probably already knew that). I didn't mean to commence whining 15 minutes ago when I started typing this, but I surprise even myself sometimes. No use spending all that time reading this and not leaving a comment, eh?

...I thought I might as well try.

<3<3<3<3
LinkRide the Vespa

Welcome back, self. Part II, this time with profanity. [Jul. 2nd, 2006|09:07 pm]
[I feel real... | Pissy x10.]
[Sounds like |"The Perfect Fit" - The Dresden Dolls]

It's been a while since the last time I threw one of these things together, but I'm sure you weren't that eager for one anyway.

I'm going to choke the life out of my brother and laugh while the light fades from his eyes. Allow me to elaborate, if you would: He was going to leave for Middlesboro on Tuesday to help Kim move into her new house, and he wouldn't be coming back until Saturday. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe that means I'd have THREE days to myself. THREE days with nobody in the house but me.

And then he gets this invite for a party on Friday, and he isn't going to Middlesboro anymore.

The whole thing reduced me to tears. He got the magnificent opportunity to do something magnificently fun, so he got to do it. But in the process, all my opportunities to do anything fun were taken away so he could go to a fucking birthday party.

It's the most unfair thing I've ever encountered.

But I can't tell Mom, because then she'll start to wonder why I'm so eager to get him out of the house. I am eager, though. Eager really doesn't begin to cover it.

Imagine finding out you were going to have the house to yourself for that long, and then after doing loads of plotting and thinking about all the awesome things you could do, finding out that your siblings plans are more important than yours. A-haha! No fun for you!

Dammit, it just burns me up.
LinkRide the Vespa

Welcome back, self. [Jun. 23rd, 2006|10:51 pm]
[I feel real... | exhausted]
[Sounds like |"If Only Tonight We Could Sleep" - Deftones]

Being home is a very good thing. I missed my friendses something fierce.

There are things I realized a few weeks ago, and as a result, there are things I can no longer think about.

No big deal. It can't let it be, even if it was or if it turns into one.

Work was ridiculously busy. I got called in at 4:00 because Cody had to go to the Lake City store because the cooler fucked up. And Sascha and I were the last ones to leave, and we had the clean the whole cooler. Nasty shit galore.

Nate and I went to Oak Ridge earlier, though. Hoorah! =D

That's all I've got. Ashley is tired.
LinkRide the Vespa

A spike. [Jun. 20th, 2006|02:39 am]
The strings to your heart are still held by another, and I'm holding mine under lock and key.

we.won't.get.in.
LinkRide the Vespa

Awwies. [Jun. 18th, 2006|01:29 am]
[I feel real... | cheerful]
[Sounds like |"672" - The Dresden Dolls]

I went to the pool today.

And there were kitties there.

But they were all kinda sick.

But I played with them anyway.

And there was a black one that meowed like it was retarded.

So I named it Takkun and loved on it all day. =D
Link1 rider|Ride the Vespa

An empty house and heartbreaks. [Jun. 16th, 2006|01:00 am]
[Sounds like |"672" - The Dresden Dolls]

I really didn't expect Kim's house to be this empty when I got here.

A few weeks ago, she had to put her dog, Sheba (she's a pug), to sleep. I walked in and expected to see her sitting in the corner, and expected her to run over to me when she saw me...

And then I remembered she isn't here anymore.

She was old, Kim got her when I was two years old, and I know it's better now.

I'm sorry if you think it's dumb to get upset over pets, but the whole situation is heartbreaking. I wish I could've held her one more time before she had to go.

Just one more time. She was like my own. My little Sheba dog.

It's just killing me.
LinkRide the Vespa

I've embarked on a grand adventure. [Jun. 16th, 2006|12:12 am]
[I feel real... | excited]
[Sounds like |"Readymade" - Red Hot Chili Peppers]

Ohhh my goodness. It's been a while since I've sated your need for information on the garbage that makes up my life, hasn't it? Well then.

Drama is stupid and pointless and I refuse to participate in it. Here are some complete truths, and they're all you need to know about it:

a) Ashley has never done the dirty, she is a shiny, clean virgin.
b) Ashley has never tried to wreck another person's relationship.
c) Ashley has never done anything with a boy that wasn't single.

Geez. What the flippidy ferk is wrong with you? Leave me alone, I refuse to fuel this completely ridiculous fire that's trying to start back up again. No go attempt to make someone else miserable, because you'll get nowhere with me.

ANYWAYS!

I'm in Middlesboro until Tuesday, and I'm splendiforously excited about it. Everyone that's going to the beach is leaving tomorrow morning at about 10, and here I'll be, at my lovely Auntie Kim's house. Saturday is looking to be a good day, Kathy told me she'd probably be able to get Grace and we could go to her sister-in-law's pool all day. I hope so, I miss my Gracey terribly. It'd be good to be away from Clinton for a while, and just be lazy and chill with the family I don't get to see often.

And THEN, Kim said we can go to Lexington on Sunday.

Ohhh muh gawd. That's so exciting, I haven't been there in years.

Man-oh-man, I had about a jilliondy other things to say, and now I can't seem to remember them. It's fun here, but I already misseth my friends.

So commenting would be a good idea.

[I LOVE YOO.]
LinkRide the Vespa

(no subject) [Jun. 8th, 2006|09:59 pm]
[I feel real... | happy]
[Sounds like |"Bedshaped" - Keane]

No more little brother.

Well, not until Sunday, when he's coming back from Middlesboro. But I don't have to give him a second thought until then.

YAY!

Lady Erin might come over tonight, I'm not sure, but either way...

...I've got no parentals or siblings in the house tomorrow, and 40 bucks in my pocket! =]

Yeah-yeah-YEAH.
LinkRide the Vespa

(no subject) [Jun. 6th, 2006|11:24 pm]
[I feel real... | cold]
[Sounds like |"Cold Cold Water" - Mirah]

I'm broke, completely and utterly broke. It isn't very fun, but oh well. *points to seat covers in the car and grins largely*

I be needin' some gas money though. =O

DILEMMA #1: This is the big one. On June 16th-20th, my family will be embarking on yet another vacation to good ol' Myrtle Beach. By family, this is what I mean: Mummy, Dad, Evan, and my grandparent's on Dad's side. No Kim, no Courtney, no Kathy, and therefore, my dear Mummy would be the only fun person going on this excursion. Whenever we go on these things with Dad, I get yelled at because I don't want to get up at 9:00 in the ferkin' AM and I get yelled at because I don't want to lay on the beach for six hours a day and I get yelled because I like to go up to the room at about 3:00 and take a shower and read and I get yelled at because I get tired of being there after two days and I get yelled at because I miss my friends something fierce. AND I HAVE TO ASK OFF FOR FIVE DAYS BECAUSE OF THIS. o_O

I'm not sure that those of you that don't have a job'll know what I'm talking about, but that is a fucking long time to be off, and it's five days that happen to fall across the weekend and that's when we're the busiest. (Busiest. Did I spell that right? I dunno. It's pissing me off everytime I look at it, though.) If I don't go, I get left in Middlesboro, and that honestly doesn't sound too bad. I'd spend a while there, truth be told, I could stay with Kim or Courtney or maybe Kathy. But still... I likey the beach quite a bit. It's just the people that are going and how long we're staying and I'm kind of tired of Myrtle Beach every year and all that garbage.

I'm just completely terrified of telling my manager I need off for that long. Mom and Dad already told me I can't stay in Clinton (which SUCKS, 'cause that'd basically be awesome), so there's no way I can stay and work. Ashley needs advice. Now.

DILEMMA #2: Haircut, mayhaps? I wouldn't be getting a lot hacked off, maybe... two inches, the same kind of cut I have, just shorter. I'm getting sick of the way it looks now and the ends are all icky looking, but I'm 'fraid that it'll look like complete shit. It did last time. Guh, Ashley needs advice. Now.

Time for some random...

x|| Have you realized that "guh" is just "ugh" all mixed up? Hardee har har.
x|| I wish my phone would ferkin' RING. C'mon kiddies, it isn't that hard.
x|| Video game moosik is an obsession of mine.
x|| I think I'll try and take a cool peekture of my eyes tomorrow.
x|| Kingdom Hearts II is a magnificent game. It's kinda weird. I likey.
x|| I need to start drinking water, badly.

So if I don't get a copious amount of comments, I'm coming after some of you in the dark of night and bringing with me a pointy reckoning that'll end your life. Got me? =]
LinkRide the Vespa

(no subject) [Jun. 5th, 2006|11:46 pm]
[I feel real... | excited]

I now have new seat covers in my car, AAAAAAND...

...Super Mario Brothers for DS!

Yippee!
LinkRide the Vespa

(no subject) [Jun. 2nd, 2006|09:21 pm]
[I feel real... | cold]

Well, I mean, I had a lot to say, but I thought most of it up while I was at work and now I can't remember any of it.

Damn. I love hearing the stupid reasoning of a stupid person as to why they do stupid things. Hahaha. It makes good entertainment. =]

Mmm... I'm bored, and Erin's staying tonight. Hurray.

Call me if you want to do anything, kiddies.
LinkRide the Vespa

Ferk yeah. =] [May. 31st, 2006|08:38 pm]
[I feel real... | predatory]
[Sounds like |"Cold Cold Water" - Mirah]

Thus far, this is completely the best summer ever.

Apparently, the new thing to do at work is make fun of Ashleh. They hired a new driver, he is RIDICULOUSLY ATTRACTIVE and I happened to mention this, and now "I'm in love." Or that's what they're saying, anyway. He seems kinda aloof and weird to me... but at least I finally have something nice to look at and pass the time while I'm supposed to be working. =]

I got to see my Nathan today. I completely love that kid.

That's all I have. Call me, bishes.
LinkRide the Vespa

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]

Advertisement